Thursday, August 7, 2008


I love the feeling of being wanted. Being pursued.

But at the same time, I hate jealousy and possessiveness.

I'm throwing a catch back into the water over this issue.

K. is someone I've been getting to know over the past few weeks. He is basically what I would define as a "good guy". Serious, honest, committed, invests of himself... He has been very determined to enter a relationship with me.

I've been less certain: I don't usually go for younger men (he is 11 years younger than me); there is no instant attraction there (on my part, he is clearly attracted); while I have fun with him, I don't feel that click -- neither emotionally nor intellectually. But I decided to give it a chance and not dismiss him offhand, simply because good guys are not that easy to find.

He's a bit old fashioned, which I found interesting, and not typical of people I've met in this lifestyle to date. And this is where the problem lies: I'm not, and don't have patience for people who judge, and especially not people who judge *me*.

A few comments here and there about promiscuity set off warning bells for me (and he wouldn't have sex with me unless we were committed, so he's pretty consistent on that front). At some point, I told him that my former dom still had pictures of me in his online album. I indicated that if we were in a committed relationship I'd ask him to remove them, but until then I was happy to leave them there.

Of course, he went to view the pictures. And he clearly got upset by them. Some are fairly explicit, and I guess he got jealous. He also seemed to be surprised at how submissive I appeared in the photos, and *that* made him jealous (I don't have a submissive personality outside of a d/s dynamic, so he had only seen small hints of that side of me).

Everyone else I've shown the pictures to has had a positive response, told me I looked sexy in them, thought the pictures were hot... Some were of shibari ties, some were of other situations, all of them carefully selected by me for publication, so I *know* they aren't uncomplimentary...

So I thought it was petty of him to be only negative about the pictures. Our conversation on the topic was unpleasant. And he ended the conversation one-sidedly. "Good night, now."

So good night, good bye... It's all the same. On that sad note I will not be calling again... If you decide to call again and not get the hint, you'd better have a change of attitude.


David said...

Well, aren't you just a cheeky little bitch ;-) Did I miss something about this young man? He is dominant? or not? This is not a D/s dynamic?

Won't have sex unless committed? Upset over sexy submissive pictures? This does not sound like the kind of man that David would suspect vestri would invest in?

Vestri said...

LOL David

You are right, not my normal type. But there was something so... earnest about him... so I gave him a chance.

And yes, he is a dominant so there was *some* D/s dynamic involved, but he is an all-or-nothing guy... Either I am HIS or I'm NOT. So we were "dating"... Not doing sessions, not having sex, and the D/s was at a minimum.

~ Cheeky little bitch

David said...

But a cute little cheeky bitch ;-)

selkie said...

good call, vestri.

That much possessiveness that early in what is only a potential relationship is worrisome and indicative of someone who is not secure in themselves (to my mind). I could see it escalating to an unhealthy level very quickly.